MEMPHIS, Tenn. — The holidays can be hard for families who have lost loved ones, especially those who were killed by acts of violence.
That’s why getting help is so important for families who need to get through the emotional and legal process.
Dena McDonald visits her son as often as she can, bringing flowers and just tending to the grave where her youngest son, Eddie, is now buried.
The 18-year-old Christian Brothers High School graduate was killed in December 2016, shot while attending a party at an apartment in Cordova.
Police say three friends who had been denied entry into the party came back shooting in the air. One of the bullets hit Eddie.
The years don’t take away the thoughts of what might have been.
“All of his friends are graduating college, getting married, having babies. Every time you see things like that, it kills you,” she said.
Instead, for the McDonalds it has been countless court hearings as the accused shooters were arrested, given bond and offered pleas.
One the three, Mario Colbert, finally made his bond and is out of jail as he awaits trial.
“I was very devastated, upset,” said McDonald. “I don’t feel they should just get to roam around, be normal and be home for the holidays.”
It can be an emotional roller coaster for families.
“It’s killing us,” McDonald said. “You get to where you are feeling halfway normal again and something is slapping you in the face again. And it really messes with your entire life.”
Sandy Bromley with the Shelby County Crime Victims & Rape Crisis Center says survivors of homicide are experiencing all kinds of symptoms.
The center is a place where advocates walk side by side with families showing them what to expect and how to cope.
“A lot of victims don’t understand they are having to show up for hearings that get continued repeatedly. They are having to wait years sometime to get a court date,” Bromley said.
Watching as crime suspects get out on bond and seem to continue on with their lives is also something they work through with victims. And now there are also trial delays because of COVID.
“It can feel like their case is not achieving the justice they see in other cases, and that can feel hurtful to a lot of survivors,” Bromley said.
During the holidays, reaching out and getting help can be a literal life line. The victims center usually holds holiday drop-in counseling during the Christmas season, but because of COVID, the drop-ins are now going to be drive-through gift bags.
“There is a center here for healing and it is possible to heal after this traumatic loss and traumatic grief,” Bromley said.
If you need help from the Shelby County Victims Center, call 901-222-3950.
